Careful what you wish for...

Honorable Mention, Foot in Mouth Disease
Ellen Haynes, Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine

As veterinary students in busy referral hospitals, we encounter a wide
range of client (and patient) personalities.  Some clients are more
reserved and others seem to want to share more than we want to hear.
Recently, I worked with an older couple who brought their dog to the
Dermatology service because of a chronic skin condition.  During the
appointment, the owners limited their discussion to their dog and his
condition, but as they were getting ready to leave the hospital the
husband turned to me and told me that he wanted to tell me a story.
His wife, knowing immediately what he was going to say, asked if he
was sure it would be appropriate.  With that introduction, I couldn't
possibly resist and the man continued with this story:  Once there was
an old maid who lived alone with only her old cat for company.  One
day, a fairy appeared in her home and told her that he would grant her
three wishes.  Not wanting to waste this extraordinary opportunity,
the old maid thought and thought.  Her first wish, she said, was to
have as money as she could spend for the rest of her life.  As soon as
she spoke, a huge pile of money appeared in front of her.  Then the
spirit asked for her second wish.  The old maid asked to be the most
beautiful woman in the world and immediately her wrinkly, warty face
was transformed and she became a lovely woman.  Finally, she was asked
for her third wish.  After taking time to think carefully, she pointed
to her cat, who was sitting in the corner, and told the spirit that
she wanted the old tom cat transformed into a handsome prince.  As
with the other wishes, this was granted immediately and the
now-handsome prince crossed the room to the now-beautiful woman,
embracing her.  After a moment, the prince stopped and, smirking at
the woman, said, "Don't you wish you hadn't taken me to the
veterinarian all those years ago to have me neutered?"