Corndog Drum Solos

Our 'Foot in Mouth Disease' category is anything goes - and we love each and every one of your submissions!  Here is what Janelle Thomas of Washington State University shared with us - we're sure it'll get you to giggle!

When Someone From the Desert Tries to Learn How to Fish. 

DOHHHH. 

'You know that song “In the Air Tonight” by Phil Collins? If the answer to that question is no, stop reading now and open both ears because it is ICONIC. If the answer is yes, please proceed because if you’re like me, you’ll appreciate the wonderful drum solo about 3 minutes into the song. Imagine this: I was trying to impress my friends on my air drum set, getting ready to hit the solo with two corn dogs in hand as my drum sticks. I was so passionate about it, I flung both halfway across the room in a true fashion food drumstick solo.'

Relating to our Patients

For one of our final Volume 55, Issue 3 winner spotlights, here is a funny anecdote from Alexis Book who attends the Virginia-Maryland College of Veterinary Medicine!

In college I worked as a vet tech and this is one of the funniest moments I think I had working as
a tech…
This lady brought her cat in because she believed that it was going into labor. So, I brought her
and her cat into the exam room and started asking her the usual history questions. I asked her
why she thought her cat was going into labor and she said because she thought had seen
something sticking out “back there”. The cat had really long hair and was slightly matted. I
started trying to part the hair so that I could find the cat’s vulva to see if there was a kitten
hanging out, a prolapse, or any swelling so that I could report it to the vet that was seeing her. It
was not an easy task seeing as the cat’s hair was so long, so I apologized to the owner for taking
so long in an attempt to get a look. She said, “No need to apologize, I should have trimmed up
her hair by now anyway so that she won’t be a mess when she has her kittens.” I said that it
might not be a bad idea and that if she wanted, we could do that for her today. She then
proceeded to say, “In fact, I really ought to shave my own “kitty” (she used more colorful
language) because its been a while since it’s seen a razor.” It took every bit of self-control to not
outwardly show the horror that I’m sure still managed to show in my facial expression or bust
out laughing!!

"If you hear hoofbeats, don’t immediately think zebras!"

Have a laugh with Lili Becktell from Cornell University… I think we all have been there!

I enthusiastically began the summer by diving headfirst into a series of equine externships all over the USA.  At my second externship of the summer, I was working with a clinic that serviced mainly upper-level hunter/jumper clientele. This particular day, we were performing our weekly visit to a large show barn in the area, where on any given day the veterinarians would evaluate and perform joint injections for up to 30 horses.  One of the clinic owners, the current intern, the barn owner, and I were watching horses go when the next patient arrived: an unassuming grey mare that was very visibly lame. I was very nervous and wanted to make a good impression, so I began to note in my head all of the things I was seeing (Namely: “OK—the horse is lame—check.”). The intern began her physical, at which point I was asked to retrieve the hoof testers from the truck. I ran quickly across the property and back only to arrive, winded, to the sight of the two veterinarians and the barn owner impassively standing in a line and observing me.

           “Lili, why don’t you take a look at that mare and tell me what’s causing her lameness?” encouraged the head veterinarian.

           I immediately wondered if the jog across the farm in the heat hadn’t caused me to black out somewhere, and when they inevitably found my body and revived me I’d be babbling something about being asked to evaluate a lameness with only two years of vet school under my belt. When the expectant silence didn’t go away (and no one came to splash water on me), I realized that this was reality. In front of everyone, I, Lili Becktell, was being asked to evaluate someone’s lame horse. Yikes.

           Swallowing my fear, I performed what may well have been the most beautiful, thorough, graceful musculoskeletal exam of my life. I imagined angels singing, birds chirping, my professors (dressed in togas) descending from Cornell-colored clouds, holding OSCE clipboards, praising me. Except—I couldn’t find a darn thing wrong with the horse. Not one. I prodded, poked, shifted her weight, palpated, checked all the feet, and finally looked up at the head vet, stumped.

           “I’m sorry, but I just don’t know what’s going on. She doesn’t seem sore anywhere,” I said, eyeing the horse. She eyed me back, annoyed to be out of her stall.

           The head veterinarian smiled kindly, put his hand on my shoulder, and pointed to the foot I’d just put down.

           “Ah, yes, well. She’s missing a shoe.”

           And that, everyone, is how I learned the old veterinary adage: “If you hear hoofbeats, don’t immediately think zebras.” Unless, of course, the zebras are missing a shoe.

I Have to Do What?

Alex Sigmund, University of Georgia

Foot In Mouth, Honorable Mention

So I am by no means a “country boy,” but I also would not consider myself a “city boy” either. I’ve camped, hiked, and ridden horses, but I definitely have not dealt with cattle, sheep, and farming…EVER. With this history, I was incredibly ill prepared for a particular experience I would endure during my first year of veterinary school at UGA.

It was spring semester and that blasted anatomy class was finally over. We actually would get to touch live animals and it smelled and felt so…non-formaldehyde-y. With my sinuses clear, I was ready to learn and be “hands-on” with ruminants for the first time. I definitely did not realize just how “hands-on” I would be. But first off, goats are adorable and sheep are much bigger than they look on the movie Babe. Secondly, cows can squat.

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“E.O.D.”

Entry, Foot in Mouth
Kate Schraeder, Mississippi State University

ADR

NPO

TNT

EAG

PUPD

BID

SID

For those of us who have spent time in the field of veterinary medicine, this type of language is second nature.  How convenient it is to be able to describe patients with symptoms ranging from lethargy to decreased appetite to being in a foul mood as “ADR”- “ain’t doin’ right”.

 Now, try to remember back to when you first started working at a vet clinic. 

As a 16 year old kid with no medical background besides the religious watching of Grey’s Anatomy, I was pretty sure the general gist of acronyms in medicine was to shorten all vitally important medical directions so the new technician has to take 15 minutes first trying to decipher your hand writing and then Googling what, exactly, “give 1 pill PO BID x 3d, then SID x 3 d, then EOD x3 doses” means.

Eventually, however, I got the hang of it.  I even forgot how frustrating I once found the use of these acronyms. 

Fast forward a few years:  I had grown pretty confident in my work.  I knew the ropes, and they had even trusted me to train the new guy!  As is customary, within the first month of his employment as a kennel tech, Dan decided to adopt one of the abandoned puppies that routinely found a way to our clinic.  Dan was excited about taking her home, but also a little nervous.  He had never had a pet before and, being an 18 year old college boy, didn’t know for sure how to take care of another living creature.  But it was love at first sight when he saw Edna, a little Mississippi yard dog (you know the ones I’m talking about: brown, medium-sized bulldog/hound mix).  Besides having a belly full of worms and a minor skin rash, she was in good health, and her big droopy puppy dog eyes and lop-sided ears had everyone fawning over her.  I assured him that everything would be fine; I had written everything down for him.  De-wormer and an antihistamine: he could handle that, right?

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